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During a Papal audience, a businessman approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord's prayer from "give us this day our daily bread," to "give us this day our daily chicken," and KFC will donate ten million dollars to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. Two weeks later, the man approached the Pope again, this time with a 50 million dollar offer. Again the Pope declined. A month later the man offers 100 million... this time the Pope accepts.

At the next meeting of the Cardinals, The Pope announces his decision: "I have good news and bad news: The good news is... we have 100 million dollars for charities. The bad news -- it looks like we're going to lose the Wonder Bread account!



On a poster on a telephone pole in Oregon:
"Are you an adult that cannot read? If so, we can help."

In a funeral parlor:
"Ask about our layaway plan."

In the offices of a loan company:
"Ask about our plans for owning your home."

On a radiator repair garage:
"Best place to take a leak."

On the menu of a restaurant:
"Blackened bluefish"

In a library:
"Blotter paper will no longer be available until the public stops taking it away."

In downtown Boston:
"Callahan Tunnel / No end."

In an Asian seafood store in Madison, Wisconsin:
"Crap - .79/lb."

In a New York restaurant:
"Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."

On a restroom dryer at O'Hare Field in Chicago:
"Do not activate with wet hands."


© Copyright 2003, Average Joe Schmoe

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© Copyright 2003, Average Joe Shmoe