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What beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake?
Tarzipan !
Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?
No you can have turkey like everyone else !
What did the eskimos sing when they got there Christmas dinner ?
"Whalemeat again, don't know where, don't know when " !
What did the big cracker say to the little cracker ?
My pop is bigger than yours !
Who is never hungry at Christmas ?
The turkey - he's always stuffed !
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